translated by Edward B. Pusey, D.D.
_________________________________________________________________

Contents

[1]Book I
* [2]Chapter I
He Proclaims the Greatness of God, Whom He Desires to Seek and Invoke,
Being Awakened by Him.
* [3]Chapter II
That the God Whom We Invoke is in Us, and We in Him.
* [4]Chapter III
Everywhere God Wholly Filleth All Things, But Neither Heaven nor Earth
Containeth Him.
* [5]Chapter IV
The Majesty of God is Supreme, and His Virtues Inexplicable
* [6]Chapter V
He Seeks Rest in God, and Pardon of His Sins.
* [7]Chapter VI
He Describes His Infancy, and Lauds the Protection and Eternal
Providence of God.
* [8]Chapter VII
He Shows by Example That Even Infancy is Prone to Sin.
* [9]Chapter VIII
That When a Boy he Learned to Speak, not by any set Method, but From the
Acts and Words of His Parents.
* [10]Chapter IX
Concerning the Hatred of Learning, the Love of Play, and the Fear of
Being Whipped Noticeable in Boys: and of the Folly of our Elders and
Masters.
* [11]Chapter X
Through a Love of Ball-Playing and Shows, He Neglects His Studies and
the Injunctions of His Parents
* [12]Chapter XI
Siezed by Disease, His Mother Being Troubled, He Earnestly Demands
Baptism, Which on Recovery is Postponed”His Father not as yet Believing
in Christ.
* [13]Chapter XII
Being Compelled, He Gave His Attention to Learning; But Fully
Acknowledges That This was the Work of God.
* [14]Chapter XIII
He Delighted in Latin Studies and the Empty Fables of the Poets, but
Hated the Elementss of Literature and the Greek Language.
* [15]Chapter XIV
Why he Despised Greek Literature, and Easily Learned Latin.
* [16]Chapter XV
He Entreats God, that Whatever Useful Things he Learned as a Boy May be
Dedicated to Him.
* [17]Chapter XVI
He Disapproves of the Mode of Educating Youth, and he Points out why
Wickedness is Attributed to the Gods by the Poets.
* [18]Chapter XVII
He Continues on the Unhappy Method of Training Youth in Literary
Subjects.
* [19]Chapter XVIII
Men Desire to Observe the Rules of Learning, but Neglect the Eternal
Rules of Everlasting Safety.

[20]Book II
* [21]Chapter I
He Deplores the Wickedness of His Youth.
* [22]Chapter II
Stricken With Exceeding Grief, He Remembers the Dissolute Passions in
Which, in His Sixteenth Year, He Used to Indulge.
* [23]Chapter III
Concerning His Father, a Freeman of Thagaste, the Assister of His Son's
Studies, and on the Admonitions of His Mother on the Preservation of
Chastitiy.
* [24]Chapter IV
He Commits Theft With His Companions, Not Urged on by Poverty, but From
a Certain Distaste of Well-Doing
* [25]Chapter V
Concerning the Motives to Sin, Which are not in the Love of Evil, but in
the Desire of Obtaining the Property of Others.
* [26]Chapter VI
Whe He Delighted in that Theft, When all Things Which Under the
Appearance of Good Invite to Vice are True and Perfect in God Alone.
* [27]Chapter VII
He Gives Thanks to God for the Remission of His Sins, and Reminds
Everyone that the Supreme God mya have Preserved Us from Greater Sins.
* [28]Chapter VIII
In His Theft He Loved the Company of his Fellow-Sinners.
* [29]Chapter IX
It was a Pleasure to Him Also to Laugh When Seriously Deceiving Others.
* [30]Chapter X
With God There is True Rest and Life Unchanging.

[31]Book III
* [32]Chapter I
Deluded by an Insane Love, He, Though Foul and Dishonourable, Desires to
be Thought Elegant and Urbane.
* [33]Chapter II
In Public Spectacles He is Moved by an Empty Compassion. He is Attacked
by a Troublesome Spiritual Disease.
* [34]Chapter III
Not Even When at Church Does he Suppress His Desires. In the School of
Rhetoric He Abhors the Acts of the Subverters.
* [35]Chapter IV
In the Nineteenth Year of His Age (His Father Having Died Two Years
Before) He is Led by the Hortensius of Cicero toPhilosophy, to God,
and a Better Mode of Thinking.
* [36]Chapter V
He Rejects the Sacred Scriptures as too Simple, and as not to be
Compared With the Dignity of Tully.
* [37]Chapter VI
Deceived by His Own Fault, He Falls Into the Errors of the Manichaeans,
who Gloried in the True Knowledge of God and in a Thorough Examination
of Things.
* [38]Chapter VII
He Attacks the Doctrine of the Manichaeans Concerning Evil, God, and the
Righteousness of the Patriarchs.
* [39]Chapter VIII
He Argues Against the Same as to the Reason of Offences.
* [40]Chapter IX
That the Judgment of God and Men, as to Human Acts of Violence, is
Different.
* [41]Chapter X
He Reproves the Triflings of the Manichæans as to the Fruits of the
Earth.
* [42]Chapter XI
He Refers to the Tears, and the Memorable Dream Concerning Her Son,
Granted by God to His Mother.
* [43]Chapter XII
The Excellent Answer of the Bishop When Referred to by His Mother as to
the Conversion of Her Son.

[44]Book IV
* [45]Chapter I
Concerning that Most Unhappy Time in Which He, Being Deceived, Deceived
Others; and Concerning the Mockers of His Confession.
* [46]Chapter II
He Teaches Rhetoric, the Only Thing He Loved, and Scorns the Soothsayer,
who Promised Him Victory.
* [47]Chapter III
Not Even the Most Experienced Men Could Persuade Him of the Vanity of
Astrology, to Which He was Devoted.
* [48]Chapter IV
Sorely Distressed by Weeping at the Death of His Friend, He Provides
Consolation for Himself.
* [49]Chapter V
Why Weeping is Pleasant to the Wretched.
* [50]Chapter VI
His Friend Being Snatched Away by Death, He Imagines that He Remains
Only as Half.
* [51]Chapter VII
Troubled by Restlessness and Grief, He Leaves His Country a Second Time
for Carthage.
* [52]Chapter VIII
That His Grief Ceased by Time, and the Consolation of Friends.
* [53]Chapter IX
That the Love of a Human Being, However Constant in Loving and Returning
Love, Perishes; While He who Loves God Never Loses a Friend
* [54]Chapter X
That All Things Exist That They may Perish, and That we are not Safe
Unless God Watches Over Us.
* [55]Chapter XI
That Portions of the World are not to be Loved; but that God, Their
Author, is Immutable, and His Word Eternal.
* [56]Chapter XII
Love is not Condemned, but Love in God, in Whom There is Rest Through
Jesus Christ, is to be Preferred.
* [57]Chapter XIII
Love Originates From Grace, and Beauty Enticing Us.
* [58]Chapter XIV
Concerning the Books Which He WroteOn the Fair and Fit, Dedicated to
Hierius.
* [59]Chapter XV
While Writing, Being Blinded by Corporeal Images, He Failed to Recognise
the spiritual Nature of God.
* [60]Chapter XVI
He Very Easily Understood the Liberal Arts and the Categories of
Aristotle, but Without True Fruit.

[61]Book V
* [62]Chapter I
That It Becomes the Soul to Praise God, and to Confess Unto Him.
* [63]Chapter II
On the Vanity of Those Who Wished to Escape the Omnipotent God.
* [64]Chapter III
Heaving Heard Faustus, the Most Learned Bishop of the Manichaeans, He
Discerns that God, the Author both of Things Animate and Inanimate,
Chiefly has Care for the Humble.
* [65]Chapter IV
That the Knowledge of terrestrial and Celestial Things does not Give
Happiness, but the Knowledge of God Only.
* [66]Chapter V
Of Manichaeus Pertinaciously Teaching False Doctrines, and Proudly
Arrogating to Himself the Holy Spirit.
* [67]Chapter VI
Faustus was Indeed an Elegant Speaker, but knew Nothing of the Liberal
Sciences.
* [68]Chapter VII
Clearly seeing the fallacies of the Manichaeans, he retires from them,
being remarkably aided by God.
* [69]Chapter VIII
He sets out for Rome, his mother in vain lamenting it.
* [70]Chapter IX
Being attacked by fever, he is in great danger
* [71]Chapter X
When he had left the Manichaeans, he retained his depraved opinions
concerning sin and the origin of the saviour.
* [72]Chapter XI
Helpidius disputed well against the Manichaeans as to the authenticity
of the New Testament.
* [73]Chapter XII
Professing rhetoric at Rome, he discovers the fraud of his scholars.
* [74]Chapter XIII
He is sent to Milan, that he, about to teach rhetoric, may be known by
Ambrose.
* [75]Chapter XIV
Having heard the bishop, he percieves the force of the Catholic faith,
yet doubts, after the manner of the modern academics.

[76]Book VI
* [77]Chapter I
His mother having followed him to Milan, declares that she will not die
before her son shall have embraced the Catholic faith.
* [78]Chapter II
She, on the prohibition of Ambrose, abstains from honouring the memory
of the Martyrs.
* [79]Chapter III
As Ambrose was occupied with business and study, Augustin could seldom
consult him concerning the Holy Scriptures.
* [80]Chapter IV
He recognises the falsity of his own opinions, and commits to memory the
saying of Ambrose.
* [81]Chapter V
Faith is the basis of human life; man cannot discover that truth which
holy scripture has disclosed.
* [82]Chapter VI
On the source and cause of true joy,”the example of the joyous beggar
being adduced.
* [83]Chapter VII
He leads to reformation his friend Alypius, seized with madness for the
Circensian games.
* [84]Chapter VIII
The same when at Rome, being led by others into the Amphitheatre, is
delighted with the Gladitorial games.
* [85]Chapter IX
Innocent Alypius, being apprehended as a thief, is st at liberty by the
cleverness of an architecht.
* [86]Chapter X
The wonderful integrity of Alypius in judgment. the lasting friendship
of Nebridius with Augustin.
* [87]Chapter XI
Being troubled by his grievous errors, he meditates entering on a new
life.
* [88]Chapter XII
Discussion with Alypius concerning a life of celibacy.
* [89]Chapter XIII
Being urged by his mother to take a wife, he sought a maiden that was
pleasing unto him.
* [90]Chapter XIV
The design of establishing a common household with his friends is
speedily hindered.
* [91]Chapter XV
He dismisses one mistress, and chooses another.
* [92]Chapter XVI
The fear of death and judgment called him, believing in the immortality
of the soul, back from his wickedness, him who aforetime believed in the
opinions of Epicurus.

[93]Book VII
* [94]Chapter I
He regarded not god indeed under the form of a human body, but as a
corporeal substance diffused through space.
* [95]Chapter II
The disputation of Nebridius against the Manichaeans, on the question
Whether God be corruptible or incorruptible.
* [96]Chapter III
That the cause of evil is the free judgment of the will.
* [97]Chapter IV
That God is not corruptible, who, if he were, would not be God at all.
* [98]Chapter V
Questions concerning the origin of evil in regard to God, who, since he
is the chief god, cannot be the cause of evil.
* [99]Chapter VI
He refutes the Divinations of the astrologers, deduced from the
constellations.
* [100]Chapter VII
He is severely exercised as to the origin of evil.
* [101]Chapter VIII
By God's assistance he by degrees arrives at the truth.
* [102]Chapter IX
He compares the doctrine of the Platonists concerning the Logos with the
much more excellent doctrine of Christianity.
* [103]Chapter X
Divine things are the more clearly manifested to him who withdraws into
the recesses of his heart.
* [104]Chapter XI
That creatures are mutable and God alone immutable.
* [105]Chapter XII
Whatever things the good God has created are very good.
* [106]Chapter XIII
It is meet to praise the creator for the good things which are made in
Heaven and Earth.
* [107]Chapter XIV
Being displeased with some part of God's creation, he conceives of two
original substances.
* [108]Chapter XV
Whatever is, owes its being to God.
* [109]Chapter XVI
Evil arises not from a substance, but from the perversion of the will.
* [110]Chapter XVII
Above his changeable mind, he discovers the unchangeable author of
truth.
* [111]Chapter XVIII
Jesus Christ, the mediator, is the only way of safety.
* [112]Chapter XIX
He does not yet fully understand the saying of John, thatthe word was
made flesh.
* [113]Chapter XX
He Rejoices that he proceeded from Plato to the HOly Scriptures, and not
the reverse.
* [114]Chapter XXI
What he found in the sacred books which are not to be found in Plato.

[115]Book VIII
* [116]Chapter I
He, now given to divine things, and yet entangled by the lusts of love,
consults simplicanus in reference to the renewing of his mind.
* [117]Chapter II
The pious old man rejoices that he read plato and the scriptures, and
tells him of the rhetorician victorinus having been converted to the
faith through the reading of the sacred books
* [118]Chapter III
That God and the Angels rejoice more on the return of one sinner than of
many just persons.
* [119]Chapter IV
He shows by the example of victorinus that there is more joy In the
conversion of nobles.
* [120]Chapter V
Of the causes which alienate us from God.
* [121]Chapter VI
Pontitainus™ account of Antony, the founder of monachism, and of some
who imitated him.
* [122]Chapter VII
He deplores his wretchedness, that having been born thirty-two years, he
had not yet found out the truth.
* [123]Chapter VIII
The conversation with Alypius being ended, he retires to the garden
whither his friend follows him.
* [124]Chapter IX
That the mind commandeth the mind, but it willeth not entirely.
* [125]Chapter X
He refutes the opinion of the Manichaeans as to two kinds of minds,”one
good and the other evil.
* [126]Chapter XI
In what manner the spirit struggled with the flesh, that it might be
freed from the bondage of vanity.
* [127]Chapter XII
Having prayed to God, he pours forth a shower of tears, and, admonished
by a voice, he opens the book and reads the words in Rom. XIII. 13; by
which, being changed in his whole soul, he discloses the divine favour
to his friend and his mother.

[128]Book IX
* [129]Chapter I
He praises God, the author of safety, and Jesus Christ, the redeemer,
acknowledging his own wickedness.
* [130]Chapter II
As his lungs were affected, he meditates withdrawing himself from public
favour.
* [131]Chapter III
He retires to the villa of his friend Verecundus, who was not yet a
Christian, and refers to his conversion and death, as well as that of
Nebridius.
* [132]Chapter IV
In the country he gives his attention to literature, and explains the
Fourth Psalm in connection with the happy conversion of Alypius. He is
troubled with toothache.
* [133]Chapter V
at the recommendation of Ambrose, he reads the prophecies of Isaiah, but
does not understand them.
* [134]Chapter VI
He is baptized at Milan with Alypius and his son Adeodatus. the bookDe
Magistro.
* [135]Chapter VII
Of the Church hymns instituted at Milan; of the Ambrosian Persecution
raised by Justina; and of the discovery of the bodies of two martyrs.
* [136]Chapter VIII
Of the conversion of Evodius, and the death of his mother whin returning
with him to Africa; and whose education he tenderly relates.
* [137]Chapter IX
He describes the praiseworthy habits of his mother; her kindness towards
her husband and her sons.
* [138]Chapter X
A conversation he had with his mother concerning the kindom of heaven.
* [139]Chapter XI
His mother, attacked by fever, dies at Ostia.
* [140]Chapter XII
How he mourned his dead mother.
* [141]Chapter XIII
He entreats God for her sins, and admonishes his readers to remember her
piously.

[142]Book X
* [143]Chapter I
In God alone is the hope and joy of man.
* [144]Chapter II
That all things are manifest to God. That confession unto him is not
made by the words of the flesh, but of the soul, and the cry of
reflection.
* [145]Chapter III
He who confesseth rightly unto God best knoweth himself.
* [146]Chapter IV
That in his confessions he may do good, he considers others.
* [147]Chapter V
That man knoweth not himself wholly.
* [148]Chapter VI
The love of God, in his nature superior to all creatures, is acquired by
the knowledge of the senses and the exercise of reason.
* [149]Chapter VII
That God is to be found neither from the powers of the body nor of the
soul.
* [150]Chapter VIII
Of the nature and the amazing power of memory.
* [151]Chapter IX
Not only things, but also literature and images, are taken from the
memory, and are brought forth by the act of remembering.
* [152]Chapter X
Literature is not introduced to the memory through the senses, but is
brought forth from its more secret places.
* [153]Chapter XI
What it is to learn and to think.
* [154]Chapter XII
on the recollection of things mathematical.
* [155]Chapter XIII
Memory retains all things.
* [156]Chapter XIV
Concerning the manner in which joy and sadness may be brought back to
the mind and memory.
* [157]Chapter XV
In memory there are also images of things which are absent.
* [158]Chapter XVI
The privation of memory is forgetfulness.
* [159]Chapter XVII
God cannot be attained unto by the power of memory, which beasts and
birds possess.
* [160]Chapter XVIII
A thing when lost could not be found unless it were retained in the
memory.
* [161]Chapter XIX
What it is to remember.
* [162]Chapter XX
We should not seek for God and the Happy life unless we had known it.
* [163]Chapter XXi
How a happy life may be retained in the memory.
* [164]Chapter XXII
A happy life is to rejoice in God, and for God.
* [165]Chapter XXIII
All wish to rejoice in the truth.
* [166]Chapter XXIV
He who finds truth, finds God.
* [167]Chapter XXV
He is glad that God dwells in his memory.
* [168]Chapter XXVI
God everywhere answers those who take counsel of him.
* [169]Chapter XXVII
He grieves that he was so long without God.
* [170]Chapter XXVIII
On the misery of human life.
* [171]Chapter XXIX
All hope is in the mercy of God.
* [172]Chapter XXX
Of the perverse images of dreams, which he wishes to have taken away.
* [173]Chapter XXXI
About to speak of the temptations of the lust of the flesh, he first
complains of the lust of eating and drinking.
* [174]Chapter XXXII
Of the charms of perfumes which are more easily overcome.
* [175]Chapter XXXIII
He Overcame the pleasures of the ear, although in the church he
frequently delighted in the song, not in the thing sung.
* [176]Chapter XXXIV
Of the very dangerous allurements of the eyes; on account of beauty of
form, God, the creator, is to be praised.
* [177]Chapter XXXV
Another kind of temptation is curiosity, which is stimulated by the lust
of the eyes.
* [178]Chapter XXXVI
A third kind ispride, which is pleasing to man, not to God.
* [179]Chapter XXXVII
He is forcibly goaded on by the love of praise.
* [180]Chapter XXXVIII
Vain-glory is the highest danger.
* [181]Chapter XXXIX
Of the vice of those who, while pleasing themselves, displease God.
* [182]Chapter XL
The only safe resting-place for the soul is to be found in God.
* [183]Chapter XLI
Having conquered his triple desire, he arrives at salvation.
* [184]Chapter XLII
In what manner many sought the mediator.
* [185]Chapter XLIII
That Jesus Christ, at the same time God and man, is the true and most
efficacious mediator.

[186]Book XI
* [187]Chapter I
By confession he desires to stimulate towards God his own love and that
of his readers.
* [188]Chapter II
He begs of God that through the Holy Scriptures he may be led to truth.
* [189]Chapter III
He begins from the creation of the world”not understanding the Hebrew
text.
* [190]Chapter IV
Heaven and Earth cry out that they have been created by God.
* [191]Chapter V
God created the world not from any certain matter, but In his own word.
* [192]Chapter VI
He did not, however, create it by sounding and passing word.
* [193]Chapter VII
By his co-eternal word he speaks, and all things are done.
* [194]Chapter VIII
That word itself is the beginning of all things, in the which we are
instructed as to evangeelical truth.
* [195]Chapter IX
Wisdom and the beginning.
* [196]Chapter X
The rashness of those who inquire what God did before he created Heaven
and Earth.
* [197]Chapter XI
They who ask this have not as yet known the eternity of God, which is
exempt from the relation of time.
* [198]Chapter XII
What God did before the creation of the world.
* [199]Chapter XIII
Before the times created by God, times were not.
* [200]Chapter XIV
Neither time past nor future, but the present only, really is.
* [201]Chapter XV
There is only a moment of present time.
* [202]Chapter XVI
Time can only be perceived or measured while it is passing.
* [203]Chapter XVII
Nevertheless there is time past and future.
* [204]Chapter XVIII
Past and future times cannot be thought of but as present.
* [205]Chapter XIX
We are ignorant in what manner God teaches future things.
* [206]Chapter XX
In what manner time may properly be designated.
* [207]Chapter XXI
How time may be measured.
* [208]Chapter XXII
He prays God that he would explain this most entangled enigma.
* [209]Chapter XXIII
That time is a certain extension.
* [210]Chapter XXIV
That time is not a motion of a body which we measure by time.
* [211]Chapter XXV
He calls on God to enlighten his mind.
* [212]Chapter XXVI
We measure longer events by shorter in time.
* [213]Chapter XXVII
Times are measured in proportion as they pass by.
* [214]Chapter XXVIII
Time in the human mind, which expects, considers, and remembers.
* [215]Chapter XXIX
That human life is a distraction, but that through the mercy of God he
was intent on the prize of his heavenly calling.
* [216]Chapter XXX
Again he refutes the empty qquestion,What did God before the creation
of the world?
* [217]Chapter XXXI
How the Knowledge of God differs from that of Man.

[218]Book XII
* [219]Chapter I
The Discovery of Truth is Difficult, but God Has promised that he who
seeks shall find.
* [220]Chapter II
Of the double heaven,”the visible, and the heaven of heavens.
* [221]Chapter III
Of the Darkness upon the deep, and of the invisible and formless earth.
* [222]Chapter IV
From the Formlessness of matter, the beautiful world has arisen.
* [223]Chapter V
What may have been the form of matter.
* [224]Chapter VI
He confesses that at one time he himself thought erroneously of matter.
* [225]Chapter VII
Out of nothing God made heaven and earth.
* [226]Chapter VIII
Heaven and Earth were madeIn the beginning; afterwards the world,
during six days, from shapeless matter.
* [227]Chapter IX
That the Heaven of Heavens was an Intellectual creature, but that the
Earth was invisible and formless before the days that it was made.
* [228]Chapter X
He begs of God that he may live in the true light, and may be instructed
as to the mysteries of the sacred books.
* [229]Chapter Xi
What may be discovered to him by God.
* [230]Chapter XII
From the formless Earth God created another Heaven and a visible and
formed Earth.
* [231]Chapter XIII
Of the intellectual Heaven and formless Earth, out of which, on another
day, the firmament was formed.
* [232]Chapter XIV
Of the depth of the Sacred Scripture, and itS enemies.
* [233]Chapter XV
He argues against adversaries concerning the Heaven of Heavens.
* [234]Chapter XVI
He wishes to have no intercourse with those who deny divine truth.
* [235]Chapter XVII
He mentions five explanations of the words of Genesis I.
* [236]Chapter XVIII
What error is harmless in sacred scripture.
* [237]Chapter XIX
He enumerates the things concerning which all agree.
* [238]Chapter XX
Of the words,in the beginning, Variously understood.
* [239]Chapter XXI
Of the explanation of the words,The Earth was invisible.
* [240]Chapter XXII
He discusses whether matter was from eternity, or was made by God.
* [241]Chapter XXIII
Two kinds of disagreements in the books to be explained.
* [242]Chapter XXIV
Out of the many true things, it is not asserted confidently that Moses
understood this or that.
* [243]Chapter XXV
It behoves interpreters, when disagreeing concerning obscure places, to
regard God the author of truth, and the rule of charity.
* [244]Chapter XXVI
What he might have asked of God had he been enjoined to write the Book
of Genesis.
* [245]Chapter XXVII
The style of speaking in the Book of Genesis is simple and clear.
* [246]Chapter XXVIII
The words,In the beginning, and,The Heaven and the Earth, are
differently understood.
* [247]Chapter XXIX
Concerning the opinion of those who explain itAt first he made.
* [248]Chapter XXX
In the great diversity of opinions, it becomes all to unite charity and
divine truth.
* [249]Chapter XXXI
Moses is supposed to have perceived whatever of truth can be discovered
in his words.
* [250]Chapter XXXII
First, the sense of the writer is to be discovered, then that is to be
brought out which divine truth intended.

[251]Book XIII
* [252]Chapter I
He calls upon God, and proposes to himself to worship him.
* [253]Chapter II
All creatures subsist from the plenitude of divine goodnss.
* [254]Chapter III
Genesis I. 3,”ofLight,”He understands as it is seen in the spiritual
creature.
* [255]Chapter IV
All things have been created by the grace of God, and are not of him as
standing need of created things.
* [256]Chapter V
He recognises the Trinity in the first two verses of Genesis.
* [257]Chapter VI
Why the Holy Ghost should have been mentioned after the mention of
Heaven and Earth.
* [258]Chapter VII
That the Holy Spirit brings us to God.
* [259]Chapter VIII
That nothing whatever, short of God, can yield to the rational creature
a happy rest.
* [260]Chapter IX
Why the Holy Spirit was onlyBorne over the waters.
* [261]Chapter X
That nothing arose save by the gift of God.
* [262]Chapter XI
That the symbols of the Trinity in man, to be, to know, and to will, are
never thoroughly examined.
* [263]Chapter XII
Allegorical explanation of Genesis, Chapter I, concerning the origin of
the church and its worship.
* [264]Chapter XIII
That the renewal of man is not completed in this world.
* [265]Chapter XIV
that out of the children of the night and of the darkness, childred of
the light and day are made.
* [266]Chapter XV
Allegorical explanation of the firmament and upper works, Ver. 6.
* [267]Chapter XVI
That no one but the unchangeable light kows himself.
* [268]Chapter XVII
Allegorical explanation of the sea and the fruit-bearing earth”verses 9
and 11.
* [269]Chapter XVIII
Of the lights and stars of Heaven”of day and night, ver. 14.
* [270]Chapter XIX
All men should become lights in the firmament of Heaven.
* [271]Chapter XX
Concerning reptiles and flying creatures (ver. 20),”the sacrament of
baptism being regarded.
* [272]Chapter XXI
Concerning the living soul, birds, and fishes (Ver. 24),”the sacrament
of the eucharist being regarded.
* [273]Chapter XXII
He explains the divine image (ver. 26.) of the renewal of the mind.
* [274]Chapter XXIII
That to have power over all things (ver. 26) is to judge spiritually of
all.
* [275]Chapter XXIV
Why God has blessed men, fishes, flying creatures, and not herbs and the
other animals.
* [276]Chapter XXV
He explains the fruits of the Earth (ver. 29) of Works of mercy.
* [277]Chapter XXVI
In the confessing of benefits, computation is made not as to the
gift, but as to thefruit,”that is, the good and right will of the
giver.
* [278]Chapter XXVII
Many are ignorant as to this, and ask for miracles, which are signified
under the names offishes andWhales.
* [279]Chapter XXVIII
He proceeds to the last verse,All things are very good,”that is, the
work being altogether good.
* [280]Chapter XXIX
Although it is said eight times thatGod saw that it was good, yet
time has no relation to God and his word.
* [281]Chapter XXX
He refutes the opinions of the Manichaeans and the Gnostics concerning
the origin of the world.
* [282]Chapter XXXI
We do not seeThat it was Good, but through the spirit of God, which
is in us.
* [283]Chapter XXXII
Of the particular works of God, more especially of man.
* [284]Chapter XXXIII
The world was created by God out of Nothing.
* [285]Chapter XXXIV
He briefly repeats the allegorical interpretation of Genesis (Chapter
1), and confesses that we see it by the Divine Spirit.
* [286]Chapter XXXV
He prays God for that peace of rest which hath no evening.
* [287]Chapter XXXVI
The seventh day, without evening and setting, the image of eternal life
and rest in God.
* [288]Chapter XXXVII
Of rest in God, who ever worketh, and yet is ever at rest.
* [289]Chapter XXXVIII
Of the Difference between the knowledge of God and of men, and of the
repose which is to be sought from God only.
_________________________________________________________________

Book I
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Chapter I

Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and
Thy wisdom infinite. And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy
creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin,
the witness that Thou resistest the proud: yet would man praise Thee; he,
but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in Thy praise;
for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose
in Thee. Grant me, Lord, to know and understand which is first, to call on
Thee or to praise Thee? and, again, to know Thee or to call on Thee? for who
can call on Thee, not knowing Thee? for he that knoweth Thee not, may call
on Thee as other than Thou art. Or, is it rather, that we call on Thee that
we may know Thee? but how shall they call on Him in whom they have not
believed? or how shall they believe without a preacher? and they that seek
the Lord shall praise Him: for they that seek shall find Him, and they that
find shall praise Him. I will seek Thee, Lord, by calling on Thee; and will
call on Thee, believing in Thee; for to us hast Thou been preached. My
faith, Lord, shall call on Thee, which Thou hast given me, wherewith Thou
hast inspired me, through the Incarnation of Thy Son, through the ministry
of the Preacher.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter II

And how shall I call upon my God, my God and Lord, since, when I call for
Him, I shall be calling Him to myself? and what room is there within me,
whither my God can come into me? whither can God come into me, God who made
heaven and earth? is there, indeed, O Lord my God, aught in me that can
contain Thee? do then heaven and earth, which Thou hast made, and wherein
Thou hast made me, contain Thee? or, because nothing which exists could
exist without Thee, doth therefore whatever exists contain Thee? Since,
then, I too exist, why do I seek that Thou shouldest enter into me, who were
not, wert Thou not in me? Why? because I am not gone down in hell, and yet
Thou art there also. For if I go down into hell, Thou art there. I could not
be then, O my God, could not be at all, wert Thou not in me; or, rather,
unless I were in Thee, of whom are all things, by whom are all things, in
whom are all things? Even so, Lord, even so. Whither do I call Thee, since I
am in Thee? or whence canst Thou enter into me? for whither can I go beyond
heaven and earth, that thence my God should come into me, who hath said, I
fill the heaven and the earth.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter III

Do the heaven and earth then contain Thee, since Thou fillest them? or dost
Thou fill them and yet overflow, since they do not contain Thee? And
whither, when the heaven and the earth are filled, pourest Thou forth the
remainder of Thyself? or hast Thou no need that aught contain Thee, who
containest all things, since what Thou fillest Thou fillest by containing
it? for the vessels which Thou fillest uphold Thee not, since, though they
were broken, Thou wert not poured out. And when Thou art poured out on us,
Thou art not cast down, but Thou upliftest us; Thou art not dissipated, but
Thou gatherest us. But Thou who fillest all things, fillest Thou them with
Thy whole self? or, since all things cannot contain Thee wholly, do they
contain part of Thee? and all at once the same part? or each its own part,
the greater more, the smaller less? And is, then one part of Thee greater,
another less? or, art Thou wholly every where, while nothing contains Thee
wholly?
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter IV

What art Thou then, my God? what, but the Lord God? For who is Lord but the
Lord? or who is God save our God? Most highest, most good, most potent, most
omnipotent; most merciful, yet most just; most hidden, yet most present;
most beautiful, yet most strong, stable, yet incomprehensible; unchangeable,
yet all-changing; never new, never old; all-renewing, and bringing age upon
the proud, and they know it not; ever working, ever at rest; still
gathering, yet nothing lacking; supporting, filling, and overspreading;
creating, nourishing, and maturing; seeking, yet having all things. Thou
lovest, without passion; art jealous, without anxiety; repentest, yet
grievest not; art angry, yet serene; changest Thy works, Thy purpose
unchanged; receivest again what Thou findest, yet didst never lose; never in
need, yet rejoicing in gains; never covetous, yet exacting usury. Thou
receivest over and above, that Thou mayest owe; and who hath aught that is
not Thine? Thou payest debts, owing nothing; remittest debts, losing
nothing. And what had I now said, my God, my life, my holy joy? or what
saith any man when he speaks of Thee? Yet woe to him that speaketh not,
since mute are even the most eloquent.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter V

Oh! that I might repose on Thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my heart,
and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee, my sole good!
What art Thou to me? In Thy pity, teach me to utter it. Or what am I to Thee
that Thou demandest my love, and, if I give it not, art wroth with me, and
threatenest me with grievous woes? Is it then a slight woe to love Thee not?
Oh! for Thy mercies™ sake, tell me, O Lord my God, what Thou art unto me.
Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. So speak, that I may hear. Behold,
Lord, my heart is before Thee; open Thou the ears thereof, and say unto my
soul, I am thy salvation. After this voice let me haste, and take hold on
Thee. Hide not Thy face from me. Let me die”lest I die”only let me see Thy
face.

Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter
in. It is ruinous; repair Thou it. It has that within which must offend
Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? or to whom
should I cry, save Thee? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults, and spare
Thy servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore do I
speak. Lord, Thou knowest. Have I not confessed against myself my
transgressions unto Thee, and Thou, my God, hast forgiven the iniquity of my
heart? I contend not in judgment with Thee, who art the truth; I fear to
deceive myself; lest mine iniquity lie unto itself. Therefore I contend not
in judgment with Thee; for if Thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord,
who shall abide it?
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter VI

Yet suffer me to speak unto Thy mercy, me, dust and ashes. Yet suffer me to
speak, since I speak to Thy mercy, and not to scornful man. Thou too,
perhaps, despisest me, yet wilt Thou return and have compassion upon me. For
what would I say, O Lord my God, but that I know not whence I came into this
dying life (shall I call it?) or living death. Then immediately did the
comforts of Thy compassion take me up, as I heard (for I remember it not)
from the parents of my flesh, out of whose substance Thou didst sometime
fashion me. Thus there received me the comforts of woman's milk. For neither
my mother nor my nurses stored their own breasts for me; but Thou didst
bestow the food of my infancy through them, according to Thine ordinance,
whereby Thou distributest Thy riches through the hidden springs of all
things. Thou also gavest me to desire no more than Thou gavest; and to my
nurses willingly to give me what Thou gavest them. For they, with a
heaven-taught affection, willingly gave me what they abounded with from
Thee. For this my good from them, was good for them. Nor, indeed, from them
was it, but through them; for from Thee, O God, are all good things, and
from my God is all my health. This I since learned, Thou, through these Thy
gifts, within me and without, proclaiming Thyself unto me. For then I knew
but to suck; to repose in what pleased, and cry at what offended my flesh;
nothing more.

Afterwards I began to smile; first in sleep, then waking: for so it was told
me of myself, and I believed it; for we see the like in other infants,
though of myself I remember it not. Thus, little by little, I became
conscious where I was; and to have a wish to express my wishes to those who
could content them, and I could not; for the wishes were within me, and they
without; nor could they by any sense of theirs enter within my spirit. So I
flung about at random limbs and voice, making the few signs I could, and
such as I could, like, though in truth very little like, what I wished. And
when I was not presently obeyed (my wishes being hurtful or unintelligible),
then I was indignant with my elders for not submitting to me, with those
owing me no service, for not serving me; and avenged myself on them by
tears. Such have I learnt infants to be from observing them; and that I was
myself such, they, all unconscious, have shown me better than my nurses who
knew it.

And, lo! my infancy died long since, and I live. But Thou, Lord, who for
ever livest, and in whom nothing dies: for before the foundation of the
worlds, and before all that can be calledbefore, Thou art, and art God
and Lord of all which Thou hast created: in Thee abide, fixed for ever, the
first causes of all things unabiding; and of all things changeable, the
springs abide in Thee unchangeable: and in Thee live the eternal reasons of
all things unreasoning and temporal. Say, Lord, to me, Thy suppliant; say,
all-pitying, to me, Thy pitiable one; say, did my infancy succeed another
age of mine that died before it? was it that which I spent within my
mother's womb? for of that I have heard somewhat, and have myself seen women
with child? and what before that life again, O God my joy, was I any where
or any body? For this have I none to tell me, neither father nor mother, nor
experience of others, nor mine own memory. Dost Thou mock me for asking
this, and bid me praise Thee and acknowledge Thee, for that I do know?

I acknowledge Thee, Lord of heaven and earth, and praise Thee for my first
rudiments of being, and my infancy, whereof I remember nothing; for Thou
hast appointed that man should from others guess much as to himself; and
believe much on the strength of weak females. Even then I had being and
life, and (at my infancy's close) I could seek for signs whereby to make
known to others my sensations. Whence could such a being be, save from Thee,
Lord? Shall any be his own artificer? or can there elsewhere be derived any
vein, which may stream essence and life into us, save from thee, O Lord, in
whom essence and life are one? for Thou Thyself art supremely Essence and
Life. For Thou art most high, and art not changed, neither in Thee doth
to-day come to a close; yet in Thee doth it come to a close; because all
such things also are in Thee. For they had no way to pass away, unless Thou
upheldest them. And since Thy years fail not, Thy years are one to-day. How
many of ours and our fathers™ years have flowed away through Thyto-day,
and from it received the measure and the mould of such being as they had;
and still others shall flow away, and so receive the mould of their degree
of being. But Thou art still the same, and all things of tomorrow, and all
beyond, and all of yesterday, and all behind it, Thou hast done to-day. What
is it to me, though any comprehend not this? Let him also rejoice and say,
What thing is this? Let him rejoice even thus! and be content rather by not
discovering to discover Thee, than by discovering not to discover Thee.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter VII

Hear, O God. Alas, for man's sin! So saith man, and Thou pitiest him; for
Thou madest him, but sin in him Thou madest not. Who remindeth me of the
sins of my infancy? for in Thy sight none is pure from sin, not even the
infant whose life is but a day upon the earth. Who remindeth me? doth not
each little infant, in whom I see what of myself I remember not? What then
was my sin? was it that I hung upon the breast and cried? for should I now
so do for food suitable to my age, justly should I be laughed at and
reproved. What I then did was worthy reproof; but since I could not
understand reproof, custom and reason forbade me to be reproved. For those
habits, when grown, we root out and cast away. Now no man, though he prunes,
wittingly casts away what is good. Or was it then good, even for a while, to
cry for what, if given, would hurt? bitterly to resent, that persons free,
and its own elders, yea, the very authors of its birth, served it not? that
many besides, wiser than it, obeyed not the nod of its good pleasure? to do
its best to strike and hurt, because commands were not obeyed, which had
been obeyed to its hurt? The weakness then of infant limbs, not its will, is
its innocence. Myself have seen and known even a baby envious; it could not
speak, yet it turned pale and looked bitterly on its foster-brother. Who
knows not this? Mothers and nurses tell you that they allay these things by
I know not what remedies. Is that too innocence, when the fountain of milk
is flowing in rich abundance, not to endure one to share it, though in
extremest need, and whose very life as yet depends thereon? We bear gently
with all this, not as being no or slight evils, but because they will
disappear as years increase; for, though tolerated now, the very same
tempers are utterly intolerable when found in riper years.

Thou, then, O Lord my God, who gavest life to this my infancy, furnishing
thus with senses (as we see) the frame Thou gavest, compacting its limbs,
ornamenting its proportions, and, for its general good and safety,
implanting in it all vital functions, Thou commandest me to praise Thee in
these things, to confess unto Thee, and sing unto Thy name, Thou most
Highest. For Thou art God, Almighty and Good, even hadst Thou done nought
but only this, which none could do but Thou: whose Unity is the mould of all
things; who out of Thy own fairness makest all things fair; and orderest all
things by Thy law. This age then, Lord, whereof I have no remembrance, which
I take on others™ word, and guess from other infants that I have passed,
true though the guess be, I am yet loth to count in this life of mine which
I live in this world. For no less than that which I spent in my mother's
womb, is it hid from me in the shadows of forgetfulness. But if I was shapen
in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me, where, I beseech Thee, O
my God, where, Lord, or when, was I Thy servant guiltless? But, lo! that
period I pass by; and what have I now to do with that, of which I can recall
no vestige?
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter VIII

Passing hence from infancy, I came to boyhood, or rather it came to me,
displacing infancy. Nor did that depart,”(for whither went it?)”and yet it
was no more. For I was no longer a speechless infant, but a speaking boy.
This I remember; and have since observed how I learned to speak. It was not
that my elders taught me words (as, soon after, other learning) in any set
method; but I, longing by cries and broken accents and various motions of my
limbs to express my thoughts, that so I might have my will, and yet unable
to express all I willed, or to whom I willed, did myself, by the
understanding which Thou, my God, gavest me, practise the sounds in my
memory. When they named any thing, and as they spoke turned towards it, I
saw and remembered that they called what they would point out by the name
they uttered. And that they meant this thing and no other was plain from the
motion of their body, the natural language, as it were, of all nations,
expressed by the countenance, glances of the eye, gestures of the limbs, and
tones of the voice, indicating the affections of the mind, as it pursues,
possesses, rejects, or shuns. And thus by constantly hearing words, as they
occurred in various sentences, I collected gradually for what they stood;
and having broken in my mouth to these signs, I thereby gave utterance to my
will. Thus I exchanged with those about me these current signs of our wills,
and so launched deeper into the stormy intercourse of human life, yet
depending on parental authority and the beck of elders.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter IX

O God my God, what miseries and mockeries did I now experience, when
obedience to my teachers was proposed to me, as proper in a boy, in order
that in this world I might prosper, and excel in tongue-science, which
should serve to thepraise of men, and to deceitful riches. Next I was put
to school to get learning, in which I (poor wretch) knew not what use there
was; and yet, if idle in learning, I was beaten. For this was judged right
by our forefathers; and many, passing the same course before us, framed for
us weary paths, through which we were fain to pass; multiplying toil and
grief upon the sons of Adam. But, Lord, we found that men called upon Thee,
and we learnt from them to think of Thee (according to our powers) as of
some great One, who, though hidden from our senses, couldest hear and help
us. For so I began, as a boy, to pray to Thee, my aid and refuge; and broke
the fetters of my tongue to call on Thee, praying Thee, though small, yet
with no small earnestness, that I might not be beaten at school. And when
Thou heardest me not (not thereby giving me over to folly), my elders, yea
my very parents, who yet wished me no ill, mocked my stripes, my then great
and grievous ill.

Is there, Lord, any of soul so great, and cleaving to Thee with so intense
affection (for a sort of stupidity will in a way do it); but is there any
one who, from cleaving devoutly to Thee, is endued with so great a spirit,
that he can think as lightly of the racks and hooks and other torments
(against which, throughout all lands, men call on Thee with extreme dread),
mocking at those by whom they are feared most bitterly, as our parents
mocked the torments which we suffered in boyhood from our masters? For we
feared not our torments less; nor prayed we less to Thee to escape them. And
yet we sinned, in writing or reading or studying less than was exacted of
us. For we wanted not, O Lord, memory or capacity, whereof Thy will gave
enough for our age; but our sole delight was play; and for this we were
punished by those who yet themselves were doing the like. But elder folks™
idleness is calledbusiness; that of boys, being really the same, is
punished by those elders; and none commiserates either boys or men. For will
any of sound discretion approve of my being beaten as a boy, because, by
playing a ball, I made less progress in studies which I was to learn, only
that, as a man, I might play more unbeseemingly? and what else did he who
beat me? who, if worsted in some trifling discussion with his fellow-tutor,
was more embittered and jealous than I when beaten at ball by a play-fellow?
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter X

And yet, I sinned herein, O Lord God, the Creator and Disposer of all things
in nature, of sin the Disposer only, O Lord my God, I sinned in
transgressing the commands of my parents and those of my masters. For what
they, with whatever motive, would have me learn, I might afterwards have put
to good use. For I disobeyed, not from a better choice, but from love of
play, loving the pride of victory in my contests, and to have my ears
tickled with lying fables, that they might itch the more; the same curiosity
flashing from my eyes more and more, for the shows and games of my elders.
Yet those who give these shows are in such esteem, that almost all wish the
same for their children, and yet are very willing that they should be
beaten, if those very games detain them from the studies, whereby they would
have them attain to be the givers of them. Look with pity, Lord, on these
things, and deliver us who call upon Thee now; deliver those too who call
not on Thee yet, that they may call on Thee, and Thou mayest deliver them.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter XI

As a boy, then, I had already heard of an eternal life, promised us through
the humility of the Lord our God stooping to our pride; and even from the
womb of my mother, who greatly hoped in Thee, I was sealed with the mark of
His cross and salted with His salt. Thou sawest, Lord, how while yet a boy,
being seized on a time with sudden oppression of the stomach, and like near
to death”Thou sawest, my God (for Thou wert my keeper), with what eagerness
and what faith I sought, from the pious care of my mother and Thy Church,
the mother of us all, the baptism of Thy Christ, my God and Lord. Whereupon
the mother my flesh, being much troubled (since, with a heart pure in Thy
faith, she even more lovingly travailed in birth of my salvation), would in
eager haste have provided for my consecration and cleansing by the
health-giving sacraments, confessing Thee, Lord Jesus, for the remission of
sins, unless I had suddenly recovered. And so, as if I must needs be again
polluted should I live, my cleansing was deferred, because the defilements
of sin would, after that washing, bring greater and more perilous guilt. I
then already believed: and my mother, and the whole household, except my
father: yet did not he prevail over the power of my mother's piety in me,
that as he did not yet believe, so neither should I. For it was her earnest
care that Thou my God, rather than he, shouldest be my father; and in this
Thou didst aid her to prevail over her husband, whom she, the better,
obeyed, therein also obeying Thee, who hast so commanded.

I beseech Thee, my God, I would fain know, if so Thou willest, for what
purpose my baptism was then deferred? was it for my good that the rein was
laid loose, as it were, upon me, for me to sin? or was it not laid loose? If
not, why does it still echo in our ears on all sides,Let him alone, let
him do as he will, for he is not yet baptised? but as to bodily health, no
one says,Let him be worse wounded, for he is not yet healed. How much
better then, had I been at once healed; and then, by my friends™ and my own,
my soul's recovered health had been kept safe in Thy keeping who gavest it.
Better truly. But how many and great waves of temptation seemed to hang over
me after my boyhood! These my mother foresaw; and preferred to expose to
them the clay whence I might afterwards be moulded, than the very cast, when
made.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter XII

In boyhood itself, however (so much less dreaded for me than youth), I loved
not study, and hated to be forced to it. Yet I was forced; and this was well
done towards me, but I did not well; for, unless forced, I had not learnt.
But no one doth well against his will, even though what he doth, be well.
Yet neither did they well who forced me, but what was well came to me from
Thee, my God. For they were regardless how I should employ what they forced
me to learn, except to satiate the insatiate desires of a wealthy beggary,
and a shameful glory. But Thou, by whom the very hairs of our head are
numbered, didst use for my good the error of all who urged me to learn; and
my own, who would not learn, Thou didst use for my punishment”a fit penalty
for one, so small a boy and so great a sinner. So by those who did not well,
Thou didst well for me; and by my own sin Thou didst justly punish me. For
Thou hast commanded, and so it is, that every inordinate affection should be
its own punishment.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter XIII

But why did I so much hate the Greek, which I studied as a boy? I do not yet
fully know. For the Latin I loved; not what my first masters, but what the
so-called grammarians taught me. For those first lessons, reading, writing
and arithmetic, I thought as great a burden and penalty as any Greek. And
yet whence was this too, but from the sin and vanity of this life, because I
was flesh, and a breath that passeth away and cometh not again? For those
first lessons were better certainly, because more certain; by them I
obtained, and still retain, the power of reading what I find written, and
myself writing what I will; whereas in the others, I was forced to learn the
wanderings of one Aeneas, forgetful of my own, and to weep for dead Dido,
because she killed herself for love; the while, with dry eyes, I endured my
miserable self dying among these things, far from Thee, O God my life.

For what more miserable than a miserable being who commiserates not himself;
weeping the death of Dido for love to Aeneas, but weeping not his own death
for want of love to Thee, O God. Thou light of my heart, Thou bread of my
inmost soul, Thou Power who givest vigour to my mind, who quickenest my
thoughts, I loved Thee not. I committed fornication against Thee, and all
around me thus fornicating there echoedWell done! well done! for the
friendship of this world is fornication against Thee; andWell done! well
done! echoes on till one is ashamed not to he thus a man. And for all this
I wept not, I who wept for Dido slain, andseeking by the sword a stroke
and wound extreme, myself seeking the while a worse extreme, the extremest
and lowest of Thy creatures, having forsaken Thee, earth passing into the
earth. And if forbid to read all this, I was grieved that I might not read
what grieved me. Madness like this is thought a higher and a richer
learning, than that by which I learned to read and write.

But now, my God, cry Thou aloud in my soul; and let Thy truth tell me,Not
so, not so. Far better was that first study. For, lo, I would readily
forget the wanderings of Aeneas and all the rest, rather than how to read
and write. But over the entrance of the Grammar School is a vail drawn!
true; yet is this not so much an emblem of aught recondite, as a cloak of
error. Let not those, whom I no longer fear, cry out against me, while I
confess to Thee, my God, whatever my soul will, and acquiesce in the
condemnation of my evil ways, that I may love Thy good ways. Let not either
buyers or sellers of grammar-learning cry out against me. For if I question
them whether it be true that Aeneas came on a time to Carthage, as the poet
tells, the less learned will reply that they know not, the more learned that
he never did. But should I ask with what letters the nameAeneas is
written, every one who has learnt this will answer me aright, as to the
signs which men have conventionally settled. If, again, I should ask which
might be forgotten with least detriment to the concerns of life, reading and
writing or these poetic fictions? who does not foresee what all must answer
who have not wholly forgotten themselves? I sinned, then, when as a boy I
preferred those empty to those more profitable studies, or rather loved the
one and hated the other.One and one, two;two and two, four; this was
to me a hateful singsong:the wooden horse lined with armed men, andthe
burning of Troy, andCreusa's shade and sad similitude, were the choice
spectacle of my vanity.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter XIV

Why then did I hate the Greek classics, which have the like tales? For Homer
also curiously wove the like fictions, and is most sweetlyvain, yet was he
bitter to my boyish taste. And so I suppose would Virgil be to Grecian
children, when forced to learn him as I was Homer. Difficulty, in truth, the
difficulty of a foreign tongue, dashed, as it were, with gall all the
sweetness of Grecian fable. For not one word of it did I understand, and to
make me understand I was urged vehemently with cruel threats and
punishments. Time was also (as an infant) I knew no Latin; but this I
learned without fear or suffering, by mere observation, amid the caresses of
my nursery and jests of friends, smiling and sportively encouraging me. This
I learned without any pressure of punishment to urge me on, for my heart
urged me to give birth to its conceptions, which I could only do by learning
words not of those who taught, but of those who talked with me; in whose
ears also I gave birth to the thoughts, whatever I conceived. No doubt,
then, that a free curiosity has more force in our learning these things,
than a frightful enforcement. Only this enforcement restrains the rovings of
that freedom, through Thy laws, O my God, Thy laws, from the master's cane
to the martyr's trials, being able to temper for us a wholesome bitter,
recalling us to Thyself from that deadly pleasure which lures us from Thee.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter XV

Hear, Lord, my prayer; let not my soul faint under Thy discipline, nor let
me faint in confessing unto Thee all Thy mercies, whereby Thou hast drawn me
out of all my most evil ways, that Thou mightest become a delight to me
above all the allurements which I once pursued; that I may most entirely
love Thee, and clasp Thy hand with all my affections, and Thou mayest yet
rescue me from every temptation, even unto the end. For lo, O Lord, my King
and my God, for Thy service be whatever useful thing my childhood learned;
for Thy service, that I speak, write, read, reckon. For Thou didst grant me
Thy discipline, while I was learning vanities; and my sin of delighting in
those vanities Thou hast forgiven. In them, indeed, I learnt many a useful
word, but these may as well be learned in things not vain; and that is the
safe path for the steps of youth.
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Chapter XVI

But woe is thee, thou torrent of human custom! Who shall stand against thee?
how long shalt thou not be dried up? how long roll the sons of Eve into that
huge and hideous ocean, which even they scarcely overpass who climb the
cross? Did not I read in thee of Jove the thunderer and the adulterer? both,
doubtless, he could not be; but so the feigned thunder might countenance and
pander to real adultery. And now which of our gowned masters lends a sober
ear to one who from their own school cries out,These were Homer's
fictions, transferring things human to the gods; would he had brought down
things divine to us! Yet more truly had he said,These are indeed his
fictions; but attributing a divine nature to wicked men, that crimes might
be no longer crimes, and whoso commits them might seem to imitate not
abandoned men, but the celestial gods.

And yet, thou hellish torrent, into thee are cast the sons of men with rich
rewards, for compassing such learning; and a great solemnity is made of it,
when this is going on in the forum, within sight of laws appointing a salary
beside the scholar's payments; and thou lashest thy rocks and roarest,
Hence words are learnt; hence eloquence; most necessary to gain your ends,
or maintain opinions. As if we should have never known such words as
golden shower,lap,beguile,temples of the heavens, or others in
that passage, unless Terence had brought a lewd youth upon the stage,
setting up Jupiter as his example of seduction.
Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn,

Of Jove's descending in a golden shower

To Danae's lap a woman to beguile.

And then mark how he excites himself to lust as by celestial authority:
And what God? Great Jove,

Who shakes heaven's highest temples with his thunder,

And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!

I did it, and with all my heart I did it.

Not one whit more easily are the words learnt for all this vileness; but by
their means the vileness is committed with less shame. Not that I blame the
words, being, as it were, choice and precious vessels; but that wine of
error which is drunk to us in them by intoxicated teachers; and if we, too,
drink not, we are beaten, and have no sober judge to whom we may appeal.
Yet, O my God (in whose presence I now without hurt may remember this), all
this unhappily I learnt willingly with great delight, and for this was
pronounced a hopeful boy.
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Chapter XVII

Bear with me, my God, while I say somewhat of my wit, Thy gift, and on what
dotages I wasted it. For a task was set me, troublesome enough to my soul,
upon terms of praise or shame, and fear of stripes, to speak the words of
Juno, as she raged and mourned that she could not
This Trojan prince from Latinum turn.

Which words I had heard that Juno never uttered; but we were forced to go
astray in the footsteps of these poetic fictions, and to say in prose much
what he expressed in verse. And his speaking was most applauded, in whom the
passions of rage and grief were most preeminent, and clothed in the most
fitting language, maintaining the dignity of the character. What is it to
me, O my true life, my God, that my declamation was applauded above so many
of my own age and class? is not all this smoke and wind? and was there
nothing else whereon to exercise my wit and tongue? Thy praises, Lord, Thy
praises might have stayed the yet tender shoot of my heart by the prop of
Thy Scriptures; so had it not trailed away amid these empty trifles, a
defiled prey for the fowls of the air. For in more ways than one do men
sacrifice to the rebellious angels.
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Chapter XVIII

But what marvel that I was thus carried away to vanities, and went out from
Thy presence, O my God, when men were set before me as models, who, if in
relating some action of theirs, in itself not ill, they committed some
barbarism or solecism, being censured, were abashed; but when in rich and
adomed and well-ordered discourse they related their own disordered life,
being bepraised, they gloried? These things Thou seest, Lord, and holdest
Thy peace; long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. Wilt Thou hold
Thy peace for ever? and even now Thou drawest out of this horrible gulf the
soul that seeketh Thee, that thirsteth for Thy pleasures, whose heart saith
unto Thee, I have sought Thy face; Thy face, Lord, will I seek. For darkened
affections is removal from Thee. For it is not by our feet, or change of
place, that men leave Thee, or return unto Thee. Or did that Thy younger son
look out for horses or chariots, or ships, fly with visible wings, or
journey by the motion of his limbs, that he might in a far country waste in
riotous living all Thou gavest at his departure? a loving Father, when Thou
gavest, and more loving unto him, when he returned empty. So then in
lustful, that is, in darkened affections, is the true distance from Thy
face.

Behold, O Lord God, yea, behold patiently as Thou art wont how carefully the
sons of men observe the covenanted rules of letters and syllables received
from those who spake before them, neglecting the eternal covenant of
everlasting salvation received from Thee. Insomuch, that a teacher or
learner of the hereditary laws of pronunciation will more offend men by
speaking without the aspirate, of auman being, in despite of the laws of
grammar, than if he, ahuman being, hate ahuman being in despite of
Thine. As if any enemy could be more hurtful than the hatred with which he
is incensed against him; or could wound more deeply him whom he persecutes,
than he wounds his own soul by his enmity. Assuredly no science of letters
can be so innate as the record of conscience,that he is doing to another
what from another he would be loth to suffer. How deep are Thy ways, O God,
Thou only great, that sittest silent on high and by an unwearied law
dispensing penal blindness to lawless desires. In quest of the fame of
eloquence, a man standing before a human judge, surrounded by a human
throng, declaiming against his enemy with fiercest hatred, will take heed
most watchfully, lest, by an error of the tongue, he murder the wordhuman
being; but takes no heed, lest, through the fury of his spirit, he murder
the real human being.

This was the world at whose gate unhappy I lay in my boyhood; this the stage
where I had feared more to commit a barbarism, than having committed one, to
envy those who had not. These things I speak and confess to Thee, my God;
for which I had praise from them, whom I then thought it all virtue to
please. For I saw not the abyss of vileness, wherein I was cast away from
Thine eyes. Before them what more foul than I was already, displeasing even
such as myself? with innumerable lies deceiving my tutor, my masters, my
parents, from love of play, eagerness to see vain shows and restlessness to
imitate them! Thefts also I committed, from my parents™ cellar and table,
enslaved by greediness, or that I might have to give to boys, who sold me
their play, which all the while they liked no less than I. In this play,
too, I often sought unfair conquests, conquered myself meanwhile by vain
desire of preeminence. And what could I so ill endure, or, when I detected
it, upbraided I so fiercely, as that I was doing to others? and for which
if, detected, I was upbraided, I chose rather to quarrel than to yield. And
is this the innocence of boyhood? Not so, Lord, not so; I cry Thy mercy, my
God. For these very sins, as riper years succeed, these very sins are
transferred from tutors and masters, from nuts and balls and sparrows, to
magistrates and kings, to gold and manors and slaves, just as severer
punishments displace the cane. It was the low stature then of childhood
which Thou our King didst commend as an emblem of lowliness, when Thou
saidst, Of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Yet, Lord, to Thee, the Creator and Governor of the universe, most excellent
and most good, thanks were due to Thee our God, even hadst Thou destined for
me boyhood only. For even then I was, I lived, and felt; and had an
implanted providence over my well-being”a trace of that mysterious Unity
whence I was derived; I guarded by the inward sense the entireness of my
senses, and in these minute pursuits, and in my thoughts on things minute, I
learnt to delight in truth, I hated to be deceived, had a vigorous memory,
was gifted with speech, was soothed by friendship, avoided pain, baseness,
ignorance. In so small a creature, what was not wonderful, not admirable?
But all are gifts of my God: it was not I who gave them me; and good these
are, and these together are myself. Good, then, is He that made me, and He
is my good; and before Him will I exult for every good which of a boy I had.
For it was my sin, that not in Him, but in His creatures”myself and
others”I sought for pleasures, sublimities, truths, and so fell headlong
into sorrows, confusions, errors. Thanks be to Thee, my joy and my glory and
my confidence, my God, thanks be to Thee for Thy gifts; but do Thou preserve
them to me. For so wilt Thou preserve me, and those things shall be enlarged
and perfected which Thou hast given me, and I myself shall be with Thee,
since even to be Thou hast given me.
_________________________________________________________________

Book II
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter I

I will now call to mind my past foulness, and the carnal corruptions of my
soul; not because I love them, but that I may love Thee, O my God. For love
of Thy love I do it; reviewing my most wicked ways in the very bitterness of
my remembrance, that Thou mayest grow sweet unto me (Thou sweetness never
failing, Thou blissful and assured sweetness); and gathering me again out of
that my dissipation, wherein I was torn piecemeal, while turned from Thee,
the One Good, I lost myself among a multiplicity of things. For I even burnt
in my youth heretofore, to be satiated in things below; and I dared to grow
wild again, with these various and shadowy loves: my beauty consumed away,
and I stank in Thine eyes; pleasing myself, and desirous to please in the
eyes of men.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter II

And what was it that I delighted in, but to love, and be loved? but I kept
not the measure of love, of mind to mind, friendship's bright boundary: but
out of the muddy concupiscence of the flesh, and the bubblings of youth,
mists fumed up which beclouded and overcast my heart, that I could not
discern the clear brightness of love from the fog of lustfulness. Both did
confusedly boil in me, and hurried my unstayed youth over the precipice of
unholy desires, and sunk me in a gulf of flagitiousnesses. Thy wrath had
gathered over me, and I knew it not. I was grown deaf by the clanking of the
chain of my mortality, the punishment of the pride of my soul, and I strayed
further from Thee, and Thou lettest me alone, and I was tossed about, and
wasted, and dissipated, and I boiled over in my fornications, and Thou
heldest Thy peace, O Thou my tardy joy! Thou then heldest Thy peace, and I
wandered further and further from Thee, into more and more fruitless
seed-plots of sorrows, with a proud dejectedness, and a restless weariness.

Oh! that some one had then attempered my disorder, and turned to account the
fleeting beauties of these, the extreme points of Thy creation! had put a
bound to their pleasureableness, that so the tides of my youth might have
cast themselves upon the marriage shore, if they could not be calmed, and
kept within the object of a family, as Thy law prescribes, O Lord: who this
way formest the offspring of this our death, being able with a gentle hand
to blunt the thorns which were excluded from Thy paradise? For Thy
omnipotency is not far from us, even when we be far from Thee. Else ought I
more watchfully to have heeded the voice from the clouds: Nevertheless such
shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you. And it is good for a man
not to touch a woman. And, he that is unmarried thinketh of the things of
the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he that is married careth for the
things of this world, how he may please his wife.

To these words I should have listened more attentively, and being severed
for the kingdom of heaven's sake, had more happily awaited Thy embraces; but
I, poor wretch, foamed like a troubled sea, following the rushing of my own
tide, forsaking Thee, and exceeded all Thy limits; yet I escaped not Thy
scourges. For what mortal can? For Thou wert ever with me mercifully
rigorous, and besprinkling with most bitter alloy all my unlawful pleasures:
that I might seek pleasures without alloy. But where to find such, I could
not discover, save in Thee, O Lord, who teachest by sorrow, and woundest us,
to heal; and killest us, lest we die from Thee. Where was I, and how far was
I exiled from the delights of Thy house, in that sixteenth year of the age
of my flesh, when the madness of lust (to which human shamelessness giveth
free licence, though unlicensed by Thy laws) took the rule over me, and I
resigned myself wholly to it? My friends meanwhile took no care by marriage
to save my fall; their only care was that I should learn to speak
excellently, and be a persuasive orator.
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Chapter III

For that year were my studies intermitted: whilst after my return from
Madaura (a neighbour city, whither I had journeyed to learn grammar and
rhetoric), the expenses for a further journey to Carthage were being
provided for me; and that rather by the resolution than the means of my
father, who was but a poor freeman of Thagaste. To whom tell I this? not to
Thee, my God; but before Thee to mine own kind, even to that small portion
of mankind as may light upon these writings of mine. And to what purpose?
that whosoever reads this, may think out of what depths we are to cry unto
Thee. For what is nearer to Thine ears than a confessing heart, and a life
of faith? Who did not extol my father, for that beyond the ability of his
means, he would furnish his son with all necessaries for a far journey for
his studies™ sake? For many far abler citizens did no such thing for their
children. But yet this same father had no concern how I grew towards Thee,
or how chaste I were; so that I were but copious in speech, however barren I
were to Thy culture, O God, who art the only true and good Lord of Thy
field, my heart.

But while in that my sixteenth year I lived with my parents, leaving all
school for a while (a season of idleness being interposed through the
narrowness of my parents™ fortunes), the briers of unclean desires grew rank
over my head, and there was no hand to root them out. When that my father
saw me at the baths, now growing towards manhood, and endued with a restless
youthfulness, he, as already hence anticipating his descendants, gladly told
it to my mother; rejoicing in that tumult of the senses wherein the world
forgetteth Thee its Creator, and becometh enamoured of Thy creature, instead
of Thyself, through the fumes of that invisible wine of its self-will,
turning aside and bowing down to the very basest things. But in my mother's
breast Thou hadst already begun Thy temple, and the foundation of Thy holy
habitation, whereas my father was as yet but a Catechumen, and that but
recently. She then was startled with a holy fear and trembling; and though I
was not as yet baptised, feared for me those crooked ways in which they walk
who turn their back to Thee, and not their face.

Woe is me! and dare I say that Thou heldest Thy peace, O my God, while I
wandered further from Thee? Didst Thou then indeed hold Thy peace to me? And
whose but Thine were these words which by my mother, Thy faithful one, Thou
sangest in my ears? Nothing whereof sunk into my heart, so as to do it. For
she wished, and I remember in private with great anxiety warned me,not to
commit fornication; but especially never to defile another man's wife.
These seemed to me womanish advices, which I should blush to obey. But they
were Thine, and I knew it not: and I thought Thou wert silent and that it
was she who spake; by whom Thou wert not silent unto me; and in her wast
despised by me, her son, the son of Thy handmaid, Thy servant. But I knew it
not; and ran headlong with such blindness, that amongst my equals I was
ashamed of a less shamelessness, when I heard them boast of their
flagitiousness, yea, and the more boasting, the more they were degraded: and
I took pleasure, not only in the pleasure of the deed, but in the praise.
What is worthy of dispraise but vice? But I made myself worse than I was,
that I might not be dispraised; and when in any thing I had not sinned as
the abandoned ones, I would say that I had done what I had not done, that I
might not seem contemptible in proportion as I was innocent; or of less
account, the more chaste.

Behold with what companions I walked the streets of Babylon, and wallowed in
the mire thereof, as if in a bed of spices and precious ointments. And that
I might cleave the faster to its very centre, the invisible enemy trod me
down, and seduced me, for that I was easy to be seduced. Neither did the
mother of my flesh (who had now fled out of the centre of Babylon, yet went
more slowly in the skirts thereof as she advised me to chastity, so heed
what she had heard of me from her husband, as to restrain within the bounds
of conjugal affection (if it could not be pared away to the quick) what she
felt to be pestilent at present and for the future dangerous. She heeded not
this, for she feared lest a wife should prove a clog and hindrance to my
hopes. Not those hopes of the world to come, which my mother reposed in
Thee; but the hope of learning, which both my parents were too desirous I
should attain; my father, because he had next to no thought of Thee, and of
me but vain conceits; my mother, because she accounted that those usual
courses of learning would not only be no hindrance, but even some
furtherance towards attaining Thee. For thus I conjecture, recalling, as
well as I may, the disposition of my parents. The reins, meantime, were
slackened to me, beyond all temper of due severity, to spend my time in
sport, yea, even unto dissoluteness in whatsoever I affected. And in all was
a mist, intercepting from me, O my God, the brightness of Thy truth; and
mine iniquity burst out as from very fatness.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter IV

Theft is punished by Thy law, O Lord, and the law written in the hearts of
men, which iniquity itself effaces not. For what thief will abide a thief?
not even a rich thief, one stealing through want. Yet I lusted to thieve,
and did it, compelled by no hunger, nor poverty, but through a cloyedness of
well-doing, and a pamperedness of iniquity. For I stole that, of which I had
enough, and much better. Nor cared I to enjoy what I stole, but joyed in the
theft and sin itself. A pear tree there was near our vineyard, laden with
fruit, tempting neither for colour nor taste. To shake and rob this, some
lewd young fellows of us went, late one night (having according to our
pestilent custom prolonged our sports in the streets till then), and took
huge loads, not for our eating, but to fling to the very hogs, having only
tasted them. And this, but to do what we liked only, because it was
misliked. Behold my heart, O God, behold my heart, which Thou hadst pity
upon in the bottom of the bottomless pit. Now, behold, let my heart tell
Thee what it sought there, that I should be gratuitously evil, having no
temptation to ill, but the ill itself. It was foul, and I loved it; I loved
to perish, I loved mine own fault, not that for which I was faulty, but my
fault itself. Foul soul, falling from Thy firmament to utter destruction;
not seeking aught through the shame, but the shame itself!
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter V

For there is an attractiveness in beautiful bodies, in gold and silver, and
all things; and in bodily touch, sympathy hath much influence, and each
other sense hath his proper object answerably tempered. Wordly honour hath
also its grace, and the power of overcoming, and of mastery; whence springs
also the thirst of revenge. But yet, to obtain all these, we may not depart
from Thee, O Lord, nor decline from Thy law. The life also which here we
live hath its own enchantment, through a certain proportion of its own, and
a correspondence with all things beautiful here below. Human friendship also
is endeared with a sweet tie, by reason of the unity formed of many souls.
Upon occasion of all these, and the like, is sin committed, while through an
immoderate inclination towards these goods of the lowest order, the better
and higher are forsaken,”Thou, our Lord God, Thy truth, and Thy law. For
these lower things have their delights, but not like my God, who made all
things; for in Him doth the righteous delight, and He is the joy of the
upright in heart.

When, then, we ask why a crime was done, we believe it not, unless it appear
that there might have been some desire of obtaining some of those which we
called lower goods, or a fear of losing them. For they are beautiful and
comely; although compared with those higher and beatific goods, they be
abject and low. A man hath murdered another; why? he loved his wife or his
estate; or would rob for his own livelihood; or feared to lose some such
things by him; or, wronged, was on fire to be revenged. Would any commit
murder upon no cause, delighted simply in murdering? who would believe it?
for as for that furious and savage man, of whom it is said that he was
gratuitously evil and cruel, yet is the cause assigned;lest (saith he)
through idleness hand or heart should grow inactive. And to what end?
that, through that practice of guilt, he might, having taken the city,
attain to honours, empire, riches, and be freed from fear of the laws, and
his embarrassments from domestic needs, and consciousness of villainies. So
then, not even Catiline himself loved his own villainies, but something
else, for whose sake he did them.
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Chapter VI

What then did wretched I so love in thee, thou theft of mine, thou deed of
darkness, in that sixteenth year of my age? Lovely thou wert not, because
thou wert theft. But art thou any thing, that thus I speak to thee? Fair
were the pears we stole, because they were Thy creation, Thou fairest of
all, Creator of all, Thou good God; God, the sovereign good and my true
good. Fair were those pears, but not them did my wretched soul desire; for I
had store of better, and those I gathered, only that I might steal. For,
when gathered, I flung them away, my only feast therein being my own sin,
which I was pleased to enjoy. For if aught of those pears came within my
mouth, what sweetened it was the sin. And now, O Lord my God, I enquire what
in that theft delighted me; and behold it hath no loveliness; I mean not
such loveliness as in justice and wisdom; nor such as is in the mind and
memory, and senses, and animal life of man; nor yet as the stars are
glorious and beautiful in their orbs; or the earth, or sea, full of
embryo-life, replacing by its birth that which decayeth; nay, nor even that
false and shadowy beauty which belongeth to deceiving vices.

For so doth pride imitate exaltedness; whereas Thou alone art God exalted
over all. Ambition, what seeks it, but honours and glory? whereas Thou alone
art to be honoured above all, and glorious for evermore. The cruelty of the
great would fain be feared; but who is to be feared but God alone, out of
whose power what can be wrested or withdrawn? when, or where, or whither, or
by whom? The tendernesses of the wanton would fain be counted love: yet is
nothing more tender than Thy charity; nor is aught loved more healthfully
than that Thy truth, bright and beautiful above all. Curiosity makes
semblance of a desire of knowledge; whereas Thou supremely knowest all. Yea,
ignorance and foolishness itself is cloaked under the name of simplicity and
uninjuriousness; because nothing is found more single than Thee: and what
less injurious, since they are his own works which injure the sinner? Yea,
sloth would fain be at rest; but what stable rest besides the Lord? Luxury
affects to be called plenty and abundance; but Thou art the fulness and
never-failing plenteousness of incorruptible pleasures. Prodigality presents
a shadow of liberality: but Thou art the most overflowing Giver of all good.
Covetousness would possess many things; and Thou possessest all things. Envy
disputes for excellency: what more excellent than Thou? Anger seeks revenge:
who revenges more justly than Thou? Fear startles at things unwonted and
sudden, which endangers things beloved, and takes forethought for their
safety; but to Thee what unwonted or sudden, or who separateth from Thee
what Thou lovest? Or where but with Thee is unshaken safety? Grief pines
away for things lost, the delight of its desires; because it would have
nothing taken from it, as nothing can from Thee.

Thus doth the soul commit fornication, when she turns from Thee, seeking
without Thee, what she findeth not pure and untainted, till she returns to
Thee. Thus all pervertedly imitate Thee, who remove far from Thee, and lift
themselves up against Thee. But even by thus imitating Thee, they imply Thee
to be the Creator of all nature; whence there is no place whither altogether
to retire from Thee. What then did I love in that theft? and wherein did I
even corruptly and pervertedly imitate my Lord? Did I wish even by stealth
to do contrary to Thy law, because by power I could not, so that being a
prisoner, I might mimic a maimed liberty by doing with impunity things
unpermitted me, a darkened likeness of Thy Omnipotency? Behold, Thy servant,
fleeing from his Lord, and obtaining a shadow. O rottenness, O monstrousness
of life, and depth of death! could I like what I might not, only because I
might not?
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Chapter VII

What shall I render unto the Lord, that, whilst my memory recalls these
things, my soul is not affrighted at them? I will love Thee, O Lord, and
thank Thee, and confess unto Thy name; because Thou hast forgiven me these
so great and heinous deeds of mine. To Thy grace I ascribe it, and to Thy
mercy, that Thou hast melted away my sins as it were ice. To Thy grace I
ascribe also whatsoever I have not done of evil; for what might I not have
done, who even loved a sin for its own sake? Yea, all I confess to have been
forgiven me; both what evils I committed by my own wilfulness, and what by
Thy guidance I committed not. What man is he, who, weighing his own
infirmity, dares to ascribe his purity and innocency to his own strength;
that so he should love Thee the less, as if he had less needed Thy mercy,
whereby Thou remittest sins to those that turn to Thee? For whosoever,
called by Thee, followed Thy voice, and avoided those things which he reads
me recalling and confessing of myself, let him not scorn me, who being sick,
was cured by that Physician, through whose aid it was that he was not, or
rather was less, sick: and for this let him love Thee as much, yea and more;
since by whom he sees me to have been recovered from such deep consumption
of sin, by Him he sees himself to have been from the like consumption of sin
preserved.
_________________________________________________________________

Chapter VIII

What fruit had I then (wretched man!) in those things, of the remembrance
whereof I am now ashamed? Especially, in that theft which I loved for the
theft's sake; and it too was nothing, and therefore the more miserable I,
who loved it. Yet alone I had not done it: such was I then, I remember,
alone I had never done it. I loved then in it also the company of the
accomplices, with whom I did it? I did not then love nothing else but the
theft, yea rather I did love nothing else; for that circumstance of the
company was also nothing. What is, in truth? who can teach me, save He that
enlighteneth my heart, and discovereth its dark corners? What is it which
hath come into my mind to enquire, and discuss, and consider? For had I then
loved the pears I stole, and wished to enjoy them, I might have done it
alone, had the bare commission of the theft sufficed to attain my pleasure;
nor needed I have inflamed the itching of my desires by the excitement of
accomplices. But since my pleasure was not in those pears, it was in the
offence itself, which the company of fellow-sinners occasioned.
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Chapter IX

What then was this feeling? For of a truth it was too foul: and woe was me,
who had it. But yet what was it? Who can understand his errors? It was the
sport, which as it were tickled our hearts, that we beguiled those who
little thought what we were doing, and much disliked it. Why then was my
delight of such sort that I did it not alone? Because none doth ordinarily
laugh alone? ordinarily no one; yet laughter sometimes masters men alone and
singly when on one whatever is with them, if anything very ludicrous
presents itself to their senses or mind. Yet I had not done this alone;
alone I had never done it. Behold my God, before Thee, the vivid remembrance
of my soul; alone, I had never committed that theft wherein what I stole
pleased me not, but that I stole; nor had it alone liked me to do it, nor
had I done it. O friendship too unfriendly! thou incomprehensible inveigler
of the soul, thou greediness to do mischief out of mirth and wantonness,
thou thirst of others™ loss, without lust of my own gain or revenge: but
when it is said,Let's go, let's do it, we are ashamed not to be
shameless.
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Chapter X

Who can disentangle that twisted and intricate knottiness? Foul is it: I
hate to think on it, to look on it. But Thee I long for, O Righteousness and
Innocency, beautiful and comely to all pure eyes, and of a satisfaction
unsating. With Thee is rest entire, and life imperturbable. Whoso enters
into Thee, enters into the joy of his Lord: and shall not fear, and shall do
excellently in the All-Excellent. I sank away from Thee, and I wandered, O
my God, too much astray from Thee my stay, in these days of my youth, and I
became to myself a barren land.
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Book III
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Chapter I

To Carthage I came, where there sang all around me in my ears a cauldron of
unholy loves. I loved not yet, yet I loved to love, and out of a deep-seated
want, I hated myself for wanting not. I sought what I might love, in love
with loving, and safety I hated, and a way without snares. For within me was
a famine of that inward food, Thyself, my God; yet, through that famine I
was not hungered; but was without all longing for incorruptible sustenance,
not because filled therewith, but the more empty, the more I loathed it. For
this cause my soul was sickly and full of sores, it miserably cast itself
forth, desiring to be scraped by the touch of objects of sense. Yet if these
had not a soul, they would not be objects of love. To love then, and to be
beloved, was sweet to me; but more, when I obtained to enjoy the person I
loved, I defiled, therefore, the spring of friendship with the filth of
concupiscence, and I beclouded its brightness with the hell of lustfulness;
and thus foul and unseemly, I would fain, through exceeding vanity, be fine
and courtly. I fell headlong then into the love wherein I longed to be
ensnared. My God, my Mercy, with how much gall didst Thou out of Thy great
goodness besprinkle for me that sweetness? For I was both beloved, and
secretly arrived at the bond of enjoying; and was with joy fettered with
sorrow-bringing bonds, that I might be scourged with the iron burning rods
of jealousy, and suspicions, and fears, and angers, and quarrels.
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Chapter II

Stage-plays also carried me away, full of images of my miseries, and of fuel
to my fire. Why is it, that man desires to be made sad, beholding doleful
and tragical things, which yet himself would no means suffer? yet he desires
as a spectator to feel sorrow at them, this very sorrow is his pleasure.
What is this but a miserable madness? for a man is the more affected with
these actions, the less free he is from such affections. Howsoever, when he
suffers in his own person, it uses to be styled misery: when he
compassionates others, then it is mercy. But what sort of compassion is this
for feigned and scenical passions? for the auditor is not called on to
relieve, but only to grieve: and he applauds the actor of these fictions the
more, the more he grieves. And if the calamities of those persons (whether
of old times, or mere fiction) be so acted, that the spectator is not moved
to tears, he goes away disgusted and criticising; but if he be moved to
passion, he stays intent, and weeps for joy.

Are griefs then too loved? Verily all desire joy. Or whereas no man likes to
be miserable, is he yet pleased to be merciful? which because it cannot be
without passion, for this reason alone are passions loved? This also springs
from that vein of friendship. But whither goes that vein? whither flows it?
wherefore runs it into that torrent of pitch bubbling forth those monstrous
tides of foul lustfulness, into which it is wilfully changed and
transformed, being of its own will precipitated and corrupted from its
heavenly clearness? Shall compassion then be put away? by no means. Be
griefs then sometimes loved. But beware of uncleanness, O my soul, under the
guardianship of my God, the God of our fathers, who is to be praised and
exalted above all for ever, beware of uncleanness. For I have not now ceased
to pity; but then in the theatres I rejoiced with lovers when they wickedly
enjoyed one another, although this was imaginary only in the play. And when
they lost one another, as if very compassionate, I sorrowed with them, yet
had my delight in both. But now I much more pity him that rejoiceth in his
wickedness, than him who is thought to suffer hardship, by missing some
pernicious pleasure, and the loss of some miserable felicity. This certainly
is the truer mercy, but in it grief delights not. For though he that grieves
for the miserable, be commended for his office of charity; yet had he, who
is genuinely compassionate, rather there were nothing for him to grieve for.
For if good will be ill willed (which can never be), then may he, who truly
and sincerely commiserates, wish there might be some miserable, that he
might commiserate. Some sorrow may then be allowed, none loved. For thus
dost Thou, O Lord God, who lovest souls far more purely than we, and hast
more incorruptibly pity on them, yet are wounded with no sorrowfulness. And
who is sufficient for these things?

But I, miserable, then loved to grieve, and sought out what to grieve at,
when in another's and that feigned and personated misery, that acting best
pleased me, and attracted me the most vehemently, which drew tears from me.
What marvel that an unhappy sheep, straying from Thy flock, and impatient of
Thy keeping, I became infected with a foul disease? And hence the love of
griefs; not such as should sink deep into me; for I loved not to suffer,
what I loved to look on; but such as upon hearing their fictions should
lightly scratch the surface; upon which, as on envenomed nails, followed
inflamed swelling, impostumes, and a putrefied sore. My life being such, was
it life, O my God?
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Chapter III

And Thy faithful mercy hovered over me afar. Upon how grievous iniquities
consumed I myself, pursuing a sacrilegious curiosity, that having forsaken
Thee, it might bring me to the treacherous abyss, and the beguiling service
of devils, to whom I sacrificed my evil actions, and in all these things
Thou didst scourge me! I dared even, while Thy solemnities were celebrated
within the walls of Thy Church, to desire, and to compass a business
deserving death for its fruits, for which Thou scourgedst me with grievous
punishments, though nothing to my fault, O Thou my exceeding mercy, my God,
my refuge from those terrible destroyers, among whom I wandered with a stiff
neck, withdrawing further from Thee, loving mine own ways, and not Thine;
loving a vagrant liberty.

Those studies also, which were accounted commendable, had a view to
excelling in the courts of litigation; the more bepraised, the craftier.
Such is men's blindness, glorying even in their blindness. And now I was
chief in the rhetoric school, whereat I joyed proudly, and I swelled with
arrogancy, though (Lord, Thou knowest) far quieter and altogether removed
from the subvertings of thoseSubverters (for this ill-omened and devilish
name was the very badge of gallantry) among whom I lived, with a shameless
shame that I was not even as they. With them I lived, and was sometimes
delighted with their friendship, whose doings I ever did abhor”i.e., their
subvertings, wherewith they wantonly persecuted the modesty of strangers,
which they disturbed by a gratuitous jeering, feeding thereon their
malicious birth. Nothing can be liker the very actions of devils than these.
What then could they be more truly called thanSubverters? themselves
subverted and altogether perverted first, the deceiving spirits secretly
deriding and seducing them, wherein themselves delight to jeer at and
deceive others.
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Chapter IV

Among such as these, in that unsettled age of mine, learned I books of
eloquence, wherein I desired to be eminent, out of a damnable and
vainglorious end, a joy in human vanity. In the ordinary course of study, I
fell upon a certain book of Cicero, whose speech almost all admire, not so
his heart. This book of his contains an exhortation to philosophy, and is
calledHortensius. But this book altered my affections, and turned my
prayers to Thyself O Lord; and made me have other purposes and desires.
Every vain hope at once became worthless to me; and I longed with an
incredibly burning desire for an immortality of wisdom, and began now to
arise, that I might return to Thee. For not to sharpen my tongue (which
thing I seemed to be purchasing with my mother's allowances, in that my
nineteenth year, my father being dead two years before), not to sharpen my
tongue did I employ that book; nor did it infuse into me its style, but its
matter.

How did I burn then, my God, how did I burn to re-mount from earthly things
to Thee, nor knew I what Thou wouldest do with me? For with Thee is wisdom.
But the love of wisdom is in Greek calledphilosophy, with which that book
inflamed me. Some there be that seduce through philosophy, under a great,
and smooth, and honourable name colouring and disguising their own errors:
and almost all who in that and former ages were such, are in that book
censured and set forth: there also is made plain that wholesome advice of
Thy Spirit, by Thy good and devout servant: Beware lest any man spoil you
through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the
rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in Him dwelleth all the
fulness of the Godhead bodily. And since at that time (Thou, O light of my
heart, knowest) Apostolic Scripture was not known to me, I was delighted
with that exhortation, so far only, that I was thereby strongly roused, and
kindled, and inflamed to love, and seek, and obtain, and hold, and embrace
not this or that sect, but wisdom itself whatever it were; and this alone
checked me thus unkindled, that the name of Christ was not in it. For this
name, according to Thy mercy, O Lord, this name of my Saviour Thy Son, had
my tender heart, even with my mother's milk, devoutly drunk in and deeply
treasured; and whatsoever was without that name, though never so learned,
polished, or true, took not entire hold of me.
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Chapter V

I resolved then to bend my mind to the holy Scriptures, that I might see
what they were. But behold, I see a thing not understood by the proud, nor
laid open to children, lowly in access, in its recesses lofty, and veiled
with mysteries; and I was not such as could enter into it, or stoop my neck
to follow its steps. For not as I now speak, did I feel when I turned to
those Scriptures; but they seemed to me unworthy to he compared to the
stateliness of Tully: for my swelling pride shrunk from their lowliness, nor
could my sharp wit pierce the interior thereof. Yet were they such as would
grow up in a little one. But I disdained to be a little one; and, swollen
with pride, took myself to be a great one.
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Chapter VI

Therefore I fell among men proudly doting, exceeding carnal and prating, in
whose mouths were the snares of the Devil, limed with the mixture of the
syllables of Thy name, and of our Lord Jesus Christ, and of the Holy Ghost,
the Paraclete, our Comforter. These names departed not out of their mouth,
but so far forth as the sound only and the noise of the tongue, for the
heart was void of truth. Yet they cried outTruth, Truth, and spake much
thereof to me, yet it was not in them: but they spake falsehood, not of Thee
only (who truly art Truth), but even of those elements of this world, Thy
creatures. And I indeed ought to have passed by even philosophers who spake
truth concerning them, for love of Thee, my Father, supremely good, Beauty
of all things beautiful. O Truth, Truth, how inwardly did even then the
marrow of my soul pant after Thee, when they often and diversely, and in
many and huge books, echoed of Thee to me, though it was but an echo? And
these were the dishes wherein to me, hungering after Thee, they, instead of
Thee, served up the Sun and Moon, beautiful works of Thine, but yet Thy
works, not Thyself, no nor Thy first works. For Thy spiritual works are
before these corporeal works, celestial though they be, and shining. But I
hungered and thirsted not even after those first works of Thine, but after
Thee Thyself, the Truth, in whom is no variableness, neither shadow of
turning: yet they still set before me in those dishes, glittering fantasies,
than which better were it to love this very sun (which is real to our sight
at least), than those fantasies which by our eyes deceive our mind. Yet
because I thought them to be Thee, I fed thereon; not eagerly, for Thou
didst not in them taste to me as Thou art; for Thou wast not these
emptinesses, nor was I nourished by them, but exhausted rather. Food in
sleep shows very like our food awake; yet are not those asleep nourished by
it, for they are asleep. But those were not even any way like to Thee, as
Thou hast now spoken to me; for those were corporeal fantasies, false
bodies, than which these true bodies, celestial or terrestrial, which with
our fleshly sight we behold, are far more certain: these things the beasts
and birds discern as well as we, and they are more certain than when we
fancy them. And again, we do with more certainty fancy them, than by them
conjecture other vaster and infinite bodies which have no being. Such empty
husks was I then fed on; and was not fed. But Thou, my soul's Love, in
looking for whom I fail, that I may become strong, art neither those bodies
which we see, though in heaven; nor those which we see not there; for Thou
hast created them, nor dost Thou account them among the chiefest of Thy
works. How far then art Thou from those fantasies of mine, fantasies of
bodies which altogether are not, than which the images of those bodies,
which are, are far more certain, and more certain still the bodies
themselves, which yet Thou art not; no, nor yet the soul, which is the life
of the bodies. So then, better and more certain is the life of the bodies
than the bodies. But Thou art the life of souls, the life of lives, having
life in Thyself; and changest not, life of my soul.

Where then wert Thou then to me, and how far from me? Far verily was I
straying from Thee, barred from the very husks of the swine, whom with husks
I fed. For how much better are the fables of poets and grammarians than
these snares? For verses, and poems, andMedea flying, are more profitable
truly than these men's five elements, variously disguised, answering to five
dens of darkness, which have no being, yet slay the believer. For verses and
poems I can turn to true food, andMedea flying, though I did sing, I
maintained not; though I heard it sung, I believed not: but those things I
did believe. Woe, woe, by what steps was I brought down to the depths of
hell! toiling and turmoiling through want of Truth, since I sought after
Thee, my God (to Thee I confess it, who hadst me